Candles for Shannon…

So a month ago I was talking to an old friend, and he mentioned a girl he had dated for a long while, a girl I had actually been good friends with, but had forgotten about. “How is Shannon?” I asked, “She killed herself 15 years ago” my old friend replied. Now, I was surprised by this, to be sure, but so much time had gone by, I didn’t really shed any tears. but I have felt a sense of sadness for her, and ever since, I have included her in my daily rosary intentions, and I’ve added her to the intentions of my mens group, as well as the intentions of vespers at my parish.

I feel bad that I wasn’t there for her, that there’s nothing else I can do for her, other than pray, and light candles for her. I guess what I’m trying to ask is, am I wasting my time? Is she doomed to be in hell until the end of the world? Father says no, that she was sick (she had a lot of mental issues)and didn’t know what she was doing, so it excuses her from the decision….Well, he said something to that effect anyway, I cant recall exactly what he said, but that was the crux of it.

All I know is, she was a sweet kid, and I liked her alot.  She always made me feel good when she was around, and she always made it a point to say something nice and kiss me on the cheek. I feel bad that I couldn’t help her, you know? So I pray for her every day……..What else is there?

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~ by keystone28 on 03/18/2010.

One Response to “Candles for Shannon…”

  1. Peace to you brother Bryan. I sense your sense of helpless in dealing with this loss, this tragedy. I’ve known a few people who committed sucide – family members as well. It is hard for us who love life – see it truly as an extremely wonderful and generous gift from God – to understand how someone would choose to give it up, surrender to the darkness of despair. Our Church teaches that those who give up on life are rejecting God and His will for their lives – a harsh sentence but a rational one that makes sense in a way. I myself have drawn on my understanding of a God who perfectly understands us, loves us so much that He died for us and sees how desperately lost we are (entangled in sin and death) and feels deeply for us. I don’t know how I will be judged and won’t presume to say how He will ultimately judge others. However, if I had to choose who I would want to judge me (and everyone I love) it would be Him. His heart is especially tender to the lost and needy. I guess the important thing to learn from this is to remember Jesus’ words “When I was a stranger, you welcomed me”. Everyone around us is a ‘stranger’ in that we don’t know how they are feeling or what they are thinking so WE MUST, NOW, welcome them, touch their hearts with love and let them know their lives matter, to us and to God. God give you peace brother!

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