42-15591917I started my day out with a rosary and the Thursday morning prayer selection from “The St. Francis Prayer Book“, keeping “my regulars” in my intentions, as well as Penni, from “Martha Martha” and her daughter Molly. I dislike it immensely when children are sick, and it wounds me even deeper, when it’s the child of someone I’ve come to know (via the internet) that I consider a friend.

Sometimes, I get so engrossed in my own web of drama and self loathing, that I forget the people around me until something really bad happens. This seems to happen more when I am not praying, or talking to the Lord, so I will have to  use that as an ally to get back to a more spiritual life. I dislike that………….emptiness in my soul when I don’t pray. It helps though, to add things throughout the day, not just prayer once a day, but throughout the day . It keeps me mindful.

I think it would help if I went to42-17565395 confession too. I haven’t been since Christmas, and there really are a few things I need to get off my chest. I haven’t been as great a husband as I should be,  and then there are  sometimes when the hateful things that pop into my head just astound me. How is it that I can do something really nice one minute, & be such a mean, cold hearted bastard the next? Maybe I’m being too hard on myself, I guess I’m not really a cold hearted bastard, but I really feel as if I need to change who I am and how I am, if for no other reason than the best interest of my family.

So I guess I’m headed to reconcilliation this weekend. That’s a good thing, it’s something I need to do, vital for the good of my soul, the good of my families collective soul. What else can I do?

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~ by keystone28 on 06/18/2009.

2 Responses to “”

  1. you are precious, steve. your comment meant the world to me, and now i see this. thank you, so much.

    we are home. it will be well, God’s got us in this. there would be no other way.

    (confession sounds lovely!)

  2. Reconciling is good. Adoration is also good, if you have the opportunity. And after that, just plain HAVING FUN is good. We Franciscans are joyful people, after all.

    And re your last comment on my blog (about the loogie…)–your kids are still young. Wait until someone is in 7th grade and I can practically guarantee you’ll hear something like that.

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